Everyone's favorite game: IS THIS A DATE?

July 24, 2012

Everyone’s favorite game: IS THIS A DATE?

1. Are you both single?

If YES go to 3
If NO go to 2

2. This game is clearly not for you. Why are you wasting everyone’s time?

3. Is this the first time the two of you are spending time alone together in a non-work setting?

If YES go to 6
If NO go to 4

4. Were the other times dates?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 5

5. Are you suuuuuuuuure they weren’t dates?

If YES go to 21
If NO go to 6
If I THINK SO… ALTHOUGH HE DID TEXT ME THE NEXT MORNING SAYING HE HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME go to 20

6. While planning this event did at any point anyone use the phrase, “It’s a date!”

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 8
If YES BUT HE SAID IT LIKE IN A JOKEY WAY, go to 7

7. Did you respond with, “Ha ha, no but seriously, it’s not like a date date”?

If YES go to 21
If NO go to 20

8. Is it night time?

If YES go to 12
If NO go to 9

9. What, are you like getting coffee or something?

If YES go to 10
If NO go to 11

10. Either you were asked on a pre-date date by a very shy person or he thinks you can help him with his career. Either way, prepare to be bored.

11. What the hell are you doing then?

If ICE SKATING go to 20
If MUSEUM go to 20
If BEACH go to 20
If AMUSEMENT PARK go to 20
If PICKING HIM UP AFTER HE GETS ORAL SURGERY go to 21

12. When you first met each other this evening did you compliment each other’s physical appearance?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 14
If HE SAID I “LOOK NICE” go to 13

13. That counts. Go to 20.

14. Is one of you weirdly overdressed?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 15

15. Does the conversation seem to keep coming back to things the two of you have in common, no matter how trivial?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 16

16. Is wine present?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 17

17. Is there a lot of prolonged eye contact going on? Like, a LOT a lot?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 18

18. Did one person pick up the full check?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 19
If YES BUT HE SAID I COULD GET NEXT TIME go to 20
If YES BUT I OFFERED AND HE SAID “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT” go to 20
If YES BUT I PAID THE TIP go to 20

19. Okay, though, seriously, just take a second. Is there aaaaaany possibility the person you’re with thinks this is a date?

If YES go to 20
If NO go to 21

20. You are on a date! Congratulations?

21. You might not be on a date, but it’s still possible that you could be. Proceed with caution.